Forgive them, anyway.

By now many of you would have seen the poem “Anyway” online which was written by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. This piece of poetry, aside from promoting moral living, ultimately promotes forgiving others because this is both a biblical and conditional command. The Bible is clear we need to forgive because firstly, we have been forgiven and secondly we need to continue to forgive because we too need continual forgiveness…And scripture doesn’t hold back on the serious implications for those who don’t forgive…it keeps them out of the Kingdom of God…So “Anyway” reads as follows:

“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway.”

I, like many others I’m sure, love this poem for a couple of reasons. Firstly we know it's penned by someone who is legitimate in their life. Secondly, it is both so very honest and this makes it also truly encouraging. The honestly paired with determination to ‘do better’ despite what happens to everyone, is inspiring…

I really am encouraged by this poem, especially when I’m not facing any challenges! But to be really honest, both this poem and command Jesus gives us to forgive others, are really difficult to put into practice…

There are times when people really hurt you.

There are times when I am left shaking my head and feeling crushed. 

There are times when I really don’t like people….both people in general, and yes sadly even specific people.

There are times when it seems people are so blind and short-sighted, even uncaring because of their own bias…so self-centered and inwardly focused that they are unable to self-evaluate and then project unfair and unwarranted attacks on others…

There are days when we don’t even feel safe in our own homes, needing extra security and to implement safety plans, just in case someone does the wrong thing…but this is not to forget the cases of domestic violence and workplace incidents…

What about the times when people are so hurt and no-one cares enough to even call? Or the times when a best-friend or family member takes advantage of you, time and time again? Or when you finally get a break and people still don’t congratulate you, or worse still make a cynical remark?

And the days where you actually can’t stand the world anymore and don’t want to get out of bed…?

The truth is, there are times like this for all of us…yes, all of us. Even the people you may not know personally and whom you believe have the ‘perfect life’…yes, the ones you falsely believe nothing bad ever happens to…

These times are unfair. These times are the worst. These times are impossible for us in our own strength to find forgiveness in our hearts. And in truth, some people never forgive and therefore never find the freedom and release it would bring them…

Sometimes we can find forgiveness a bit easier when we practice seeing things from where the other person may be in their own life, or by focusing on all the good things we still have in our own life which promotes good self-esteem and empathy for the offender…we may even begin to feel a bit ‘sorry’ for the other person…

That being said, there are still times when our efforts just aren’t enough…the hurt just keeps coming up and coming up, time and time again. The offense, the hurt, the wound, the betrayal, and so on, is just all too much to bear.

We need Jesus.

We need his love and help to truly forgive and be free from the hurt and bitterness…

The commandment He gives is clear, Matthew 6:14-15 (CEV)  “14 If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. 15 But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

We need to pray and continue to pray for the ability to truly forgive and to truly let go of our hurts….for what is impossible for us on our own, is not with God! (Luke 18:27).

I was recently encouraged by a wonderful story by ‘Entertainment Tonight’ in the US which tells the story of Patricia Heaton’s visit with World Vision to meet a Rwandan woman who decided to forgive the man that killed her family. (See here on ET Facebook).

The impact of the decision the woman made is so far reaching into the lives of all involved, their families, and even Patricia Heaton. I truly hope it encourages you in your own life and in your decisions to forgive…to let go and to ‘let God’ handle the deal with the situation and your healing.

Love Mel.