Bone from my bone, flesh from my flesh.

This weekend I awoke around 2:30am on Sunday morning in excruciating pain.

The pain was heavy and overwhelming so much that it awoke me from sleep.

There was no way I could ignore this pain and go back to sleep for there was no position I found comfort and relief from. The pain was in my upper back between my shoulder blades, and extended down into my lower back. I felt sick and my left arm felt a bit strange.

I awoke and began crying in pain and confusion. I sought some explanation from Google, as I knew I hadn’t strained it!

With my symptoms aligning with possible heart attack for a female, and the pain not easing we called for medical help. I ended up in hospital, not returning home till around lunchtime.

I was given the all-clear for any heart attack, blood clots or lung trouble, and the only thing we can think of is a likely MSG food reaction, because we’d dined Saturday evening at a local Chinese restaurant which we later found out uses MSG unless requested otherwise. My older sister is allergic to MSG and it seems most likely I am now also. After returning home I slept and slept, awaking briefly on and off. I finally felt mostly better Monday morning. I am very relieved I have been given the all-clear medically. 

Family and relationship are so important to God. Jesus healed people restoring them back into their community and as a way for them to see who He was – As a testimony that He was and is, the way for them and us to become reconciled as God’s children. It's so difficult when your health doesn't allow you to be in community with others. Poor health is debilitating in so many ways!

We need to be there for each other when we are unwell and love one another as family, bearing one another's burdens.

My eldest son said to his brother’s today, in regards to them needing to get along better, “We share 50% of the same DNA!”

It made me think again about how important family is, and it made me think of Adam’s declaration, “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh”.

In truth, marriage is not the most important thing in the world – Family is. Firstly, becoming a part of God’s family and then loving our own and community. We need to treat each other as brothers and sisters with God’s agape love – AS FAMILY – whether we’re married or single!

When the music and glamour of good times fade, as Christians we are left with God’s blessing of the bond of family. As his children and therefore as brothers and sisters, single or married, we are family and should treat each other as such.

Love Melanie.

Can A Woman Forget Her Nursing Child?

The Lord knows what love a mother can have for her child…

‘Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.’ Isaiah 49:15.

‘As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem. The Reign and Indignation of God, You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice; your bodies shall flourish like the grass; and it shall be known that the hand of the Lord is with his servants, and his indignation is against his enemies.’ Isaiah 66: 13-14.

Recently one of my sons was ill, experiencing pain and blood loss. It was truly difficult to see my usually, strapping young and healthy lad, in such pain and discomfort. We needed to take him to the hospital twice for emergency assessment and as such, he was assigned a bowel specialist and booked in immediately for a colonoscopy.

I took a week off work to take care of him and we prayed, along with our Christian friends for healing. The day before the procedure I oversaw his bowel preparation. I had prayed the cleansing would be as painless as possible, and I was so happy when it was.

King Hezekiah was prominent in my mind, so I prayed for healing so that my son could go on to serve Jesus for many years to come, free from this pain. I also thought of a friend in ministry with Crohn's disease and how hard it has been for them…But King Hezekiah was healed through prayer and a poultice from figs (read it here), so I continued to pray, and each time I did I felt better and more confident.

Today we went to the hospital pediatric clinic for the results from the colonoscopy and biopsy taken. The doctor gave me the news my son is clear of any inflammatory bowel disease and cancer, both of which he was tested for, as these were the symptoms he presented with. The doctor said they do not have an answer for us, and can only offer us some further testing, such as a laparoscopy. However I declined at this stage, as he's been slowly improving and this is what everyone has been praying for…

While my son expressed gratitude after hearing the results, he still said to me, “But I want to know what I was healed from…” Such an inquisitive mind…I am just grateful I can hold him and say, “Thank you, Jesus”.

While all this has been happening, a dear friend of mine had a breast scan and they found a lump in one breast. I went with her for a follow-up biopsy, and began praying. My friend also found out today the lump is not cancerous and for this second answered prayer I am also praising Jesus! 

There is more to come for both my son and friend, and that is enough for my heart to bear today…

I am writing this post and sharing this news publically for two reasons:

1. It is right for us to give our thanks and praise publically for who He is – All He has done for us, and is continuing to do in our lives each day.

2. To encourage you. To encourage you to pray, and also to praise Him for every silver lining in every situation. While I awaited the results, I was still praising Jesus for the fantastic medical attention we received. We may not know what the outcome and answer will be, but we can always look for His hand of mercy and comfort and invite Him into our tough situations and be grateful.

May we always praise Him, in all circumstances for His grace, mercy and steadfast love! 

Melanie.

49 Ways to make each moment and day beautiful.

For some weeks now I have had upon my heart the desire to make each moment in my life beautiful, to grow and become more Christ-like. And although for many years now, since giving my life to Jesus, it has been my heart’s desire to show His love that is within me to others…This longing to make every moment beautiful, seems to be a new form that is with me throughout each day.

To make each moment beautiful.

This thought has been with me in quiet times of reflection, and remains in the background as I face difficult situations. Situations like fatigue, migraines, sick children, impatience, stubbornness, back-chatting teenagers, rude adults, non-empathetic friends, irritating situations…

To make each moment beautiful.

Jesus spoke about how foolish it is to store up treasures here on earth, when we could be gone at any moment. He spoke about the importance of being ready. Ready to meet Him face-to-face; either when our body dies and we’re taken to heaven, or when He returns to earth for the final judgement and we’re swept up to be with Him.

I want to be found faithful. I want to be ready. 

I want to have made a difference in the lives whom I am in relationship with. I want to make each moment beautiful, as a living sacrifice.

I do believe Jesus expects us to live out our faith in Him beautifully, while bearing our cross just as He did, as a faithful testimony to others of His power and strength to carry us through while we await His return.

The truth is I don’t always get it right. I don’t always succeed in making each moment beautiful, or in bringing His beauty into each situation, to be somewhat of a reflection…but it is my heart’s desire to do so, and so I continue on to try with His help, and repent when I fail.

To make each moment beautiful, I think is so much upon my heart at this time, as there seems to be so many negative things going on outside of my control. And while I cannot control others and all situations, I can work at making my own life as beautiful as possible for myself and others. I hope this post encourages you to work for the same.

Well today is my husband’s last birthday in his 40’s, so I have decided to sit and write some of the these things upon my heart in the form of this post: 49 Ways to make each moment and day beautiful. I hope it inspires you!

49 Ways to make each moment and day beautiful.

1. Prayer. While we can’t control much in our world and lives, we can choose to pray. Praying makes that your heart in that moment of surrendered humility beautiful. Prayer invites The Lord into the situation and to at upon our behalf…Pray enables The Lord to be active in the situation we have asked Him to work in. Pray enables The Lord to go before us and make a way where we cannot. Pray invites His healing hand, sometimes to soften our own heart, and make a way for repentance, or forgiveness that we need. Prayer is a beautiful moment in our day.

2. Reading. Reading the Bible or a daily devotional is an intentional effort to focus your mind on something beautiful – His unchanging truths.

3. Cook or bake something special for no reason. Making your spouse’s or child’s favourite dinner, or baking a cake for someone, for no other reason than seeing them smile is a wonderful way to make an evening beautiful.

4. Get outside. Intentionally get outside and get some sunshine if possible. You may like to sit in the sun or shade with a nice drink or go for a relaxing walk in a park, taking in the beauty of creation.

5. Create something. We’re all different but you could make something around your interest and skills. You could use a pen, paper, paint, wood, a recipe, an instrument, plants…you could even create an event. Life is what you make it, so why wait? Make something beautiful.

6. Call someone. While digital/text connection is good, there is stills something extra special when hearing a person’s voice, or seeing their face. Often we find ourselves switching off (due to business) and not making the time to speak with others in person…So even if it’s not face-to-face, pick up your phone and call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while – You will find you will feel so much better afterwards for making the effort. Stop being the person that always says to others, “Haven’t heard from you in ages!”

7. Forgive and make peace. Forgiving others is not only a command, it sets us free from inner turmoil. When it is safe and reasonable to do so, we should also work for peace with others. Now this is not just friends and acquaintances, this is also our family and spouse. The Bible advises to not let the sun go down on your anger and also to not leave your gift at the alter until after you’ve made peace with someone you need to. Forgiveness and reconciliation make way for beauty.

8. Host a meal. Host a meal or barbecue to make an ordinary day a beautiful one, but remember Jesus challenges us to invite not just our friends, but those on the fringe. Blessing someone else with no return favour is truly beautiful.

9. Write a note. Why not make the effort to write someone a note or message to affirm them as a person? You could make a card, write a letter or pop a short note on their desk. Oftentimes words of affirmation are infrequent for many people. Receiving encouraging words is truly a beautiful moment.

10. Go to a café. Schedule time to have a coffee or drink with someone at a nice café. Treat yourself and them. Switch off your phone or device and spend time together.

11. Plant a plant or tend a garden. If you don’t have a garden to enjoy, consider making one or buying a plant and repotting it, to enjoy its beauty. You could even join a local community garden and enjoy growing and sharing healthy vegetables. This is a very therapeutic way to make your day more beautiful.

12. Clean. Making your living space/s clean can help lift your mood and literally makes your home more beautiful and pleasant for everyone in it. If you wished others would do more, you could ask them to help, or just set the example.

13. Do an act of service. Bring beauty to your community by helping with a task. Volunteering has been shown to not only benefit others but also improve the quality of life for those who give their time freely. Do you know someone who needs a hand? What about your spouse, is there a task they’re hoping you finish?

14. Give Something away. Stop trying to earn a dollar for every item you no longer want. De-clutter and give something decent to a charity. 

15. Re-decorate. Colour brings life. You may like to spruce up your bedroom to help create a calm and safe place to rest and recharge in.

16. Take a bath. Take time to unwind and relax…even a nice warm shower helps.

17. Listen to inspiring music. Make a moment more beautiful by playing some uplifting music. Not sure about this? Why not get online and find a playlist on Youtube?

18. Have a get-a-way. While this is not always practical or affordable, when it is take the opportunity to get-a-way from your usual surroundings and experience a new place, taking in all its culture and beauty.

19. Have a laugh. Make a moment more bearable and beautiful by making someone laugh, or take a moment to watch some wholesome comedy.

20. Have a cuddle. We all need touch. After a long day, take some time to hug a loved one, or to cuddle your pet.

21. Visit a relative. Sometimes we make more time for friends than family. Make your life beautiful by taking the time to visit a relative, and this may be someone you struggle with.

22. Give a gift. Is it someone’s birthday, or do you have extra of something you can gift to someone else. Make the day beautiful by giving a gift, even when it’s not necessary or expected.

23. Make a new friend, or invest time into a young person. Why shut others out? It’s a big wide world, and there are many people out there whom you can make a difference to. Life can be lonely, but oftentimes that can be from choice. We often need to make an effort to make our own life more meaningful and beautiful. There are often mentoring programs that need volunteers.

24. Don’t shut the door. Don’t make rash decisions to shut people out of your life, unless they’re dangerous. Oftentimes people make the decision to limit their acquaintances, and while it’s true we don’t need 100’s of friends, when we shut the door and choose to cut people out of our lives, (or unfriend them on social media), we shut the door on further contact perhaps later on. A life that has others to call upon and vice-versa is more beautiful – God doesn’t shut the door on us, so be careful with this decision.

25. Go on a camp/retreat. Or perhaps take in a workshop or seminar. Intentionally taking time to recharge with a Christian camp or seminar can bring more of God’s beauty and encouragement into our lives.

26. Go somewhere breath-taking. Trips like this may be few and far between in your life, but when able take the opportunity to take in the splendour of creation and thereby some of God’s majesty when doing so – So beautiful and inspiring.

27. Visit a sick friend. Make a beautiful moment for someone else by taking the time to visit a sick friend at home or in hospital.

28. Make a time capsule. Make a beautiful memory of your life with a time-capsule or photo album for example. Capture the moment to reflect upon later down the track by you or someone else.

29. Make a donation to a charity. Why leave all your money to someone else who will make the decision of what happens to it. Jesus said give and store your treasure in heaven. Spread some love and beauty through giving to a charity.

30. Give someone a make-over. Treat your friend to a facial or if you’re unable perhaps give them a gift voucher for one. You could spend sometime with a young niece and paint their nails, or make a piece of home-made jewellery to brighten their day.

31. Start a new hobby. Why wait any longer to try out that hobby/interest you always have in the back of your mind? Who knows what doors it may open.

32. Connect with your neighbour. Bring some beauty into your life and the person’s next door! So many people today suffer silently not even knowing who lives next door.

33. Have a games night. Turn off technology and the television and spend time with others. Having a fun games night is a great way to do this!

34. Learn a new language or musical instrument. Make your life experience more beautiful by engaging in a new cultural experience like learning a new language or musical instrument for example. What else can you think of?

35. Be adventurous and join a group. Search what local activities or groups are running in your neighbourhood, or ask other and be brave!

36. Cook yourself a healthy dinner. Take in the beauty of good healthy food. Make the effort to make your day beautiful by enjoying some freshly prepared produce! Even taking some good multi-vitamins can be very beneficial. Not sure? Why not go see a nutritionist?

37. Avoid arguing online. Less is more. Quality over quantity. Limit your online time and be selective in regards to the quality of your interaction. Sometimes negative interaction is unavoidable, yet we can still choose to how we respond or whether or not we reply at all. We need to ask ourselves, “If I respond, will my response be edifying for myself and the other person?”

39. Spend time doing a quality bible study. We need to take in good spiritual food through studying The Word. This will positively impact our well-being immensely by transforming our minds to be more in line with The Lord’s through scripture. Do not engage with ‘pop culture’ non-biblical type studies.

40. Take some photos. Get outside and capture some beauty.

41. Bite your tongue. Be slow to respond and bite back with rash remarks. Make each moment more beautiful and graceful by guarding your tongue. If you have lashed out, apologise quickly.

42. Be grateful. Spend some time quietly reflecting upon the blessings in your life and be grateful.

43. Give a massage. Make a beautiful moment by offering a loved one a good-old shoulder rub. If it’s your spouse this could lead to some more loving affection which could be needed.

44. Avoid gossip. There is nothing beautiful in slander and unnecessary complaining. Avoid this filth at all costs.

45. Watch something decent. Take in some beauty by watching something inspiring or a great message. Turn the television off.

46. Start a new project. What are you waiting for? Need money? Make the plan, save then go for it. Remember projects can always include others…spread some beauty around!

47. Set a goal. Aim to succeed. Set a goal to achieve something positive and of worth to improve your life and those around you. Aim to make a difference and make your place more beautiful.

48. Eat a treat. Sometimes something delicious will always brighten a day and make for a special moment. Chocolate…need I say more?

49. Encourage someone. For this final one, let me ask you, how do you want to be remembered? As someone who brought love, joy and peace into the lives of others by encouraging them? Or as someone who just existed once? It only takes a moment to encourage someone rather than tear them down. Be present with people, rather than being focused on your phone. Be present and listen to them. Then be an encourager and bring beauty into the moment!

In His love, Melanie. 

Remember if you ever have a query, you can email me at ordinaryaussiewoman@mail.com

dysfacebook: social dysfunction

It’s my opinion that the extremely fast uptake and acceptance of social media over the past decade, has come to a place of causing more dysfunction (here where I live) than its aim of greater connectedness.

I am writing this post as I know some people who have been really struggling recently. Here’s some examples.

I have heard from mature adults about people within Facebook groups shaming and hurting others, and while we know there’s always been negative people and trolls, it doesn't seem so long ago they were the minority, weren't they? Yet it seems this year (again from my perspective) it’s getting worse and worse…

Then there is the ‘great unfriending’ that also seems to be going on.

So many people I know are either intentionally ‘culling’ their friend/acquaintance list, or feeling the brunt of being ‘unfriended’. And while I don’t assert people need to inform others about their ‘unfriending’ decision, I am concerned for the people who are hurt by this.

I am concerned about how our need to connect with others now-a-days seems to be so warped.

Back before social media, once we all left high-school it seemed we also left behind the negative, immature rubbish of social teenager dysfunction. We all breathed a sigh of relief (unless we were the queen bee) when we left behind the inescapable interaction, and rubbish of the school yard social scene so in our faces, to pursue an adult life where we mostly felt okay about ourselves, and interacted predominately with our family and close friends, in person, and to arrange this also over the phone.

Yet these days it seems so many grown adults live their lives back in the ‘playground’. Grown adults who mentally are unable to disconnect from their adolescent need to be liked and accepted by people, who never really will like or accept them, as they themselves are mixed-up and deluded. Those people are the kind who mistreat and abuse others in order to remain being the ‘queen bee’ in their own mind… “Treat them mean and keep them keen” as the old saying goes, is simply translated these days into “Present yourself as flawless and unattainable and they will follow you on Insta!”

It’s like insects drawn to the bright light. People today are obsessed with celebrities, and desire to imitate them. So many present lives on social media that scream, “I am successful, now please validate this!” And yes, this is from grown adults…

Take it back a notch, and we hear of teenagers committing suicide from social-media pressure and bullying...this is just wrong!

Were we ever meant to have so much interaction with hundreds and sometimes thousands of people each day? Were we ever meant to ‘air our dirty laundry’ in such a public space? No wonder people can’t sleep at night, let alone turn off their phones.

Now I don’t want to write as someone who has everything worked out perfectly and never gets hurt. I have experienced not only ‘unfriending’ from acquaintances and friends, but also family members, and I would be lying if I said it did not hurt. Yet I haven’t deleted my social media accounts as I need them for not only this blog, but also my work. Furthermore I have actually felt mentally unwell from some things I’ve seen and experienced online, and have necessarily taken ‘breaks’ from using these sources for information and connecting with others.

It seems to me, the most immune people to this social dysfunction are the ones who either don’t use social media for connecting with others, or are the ones who gain their affirmation and validation from quality sources.

For me, I remain strong and resilient as I receive my validation from my relationship with Jesus Christ and His unchanging truths for me as His daughter found in scripture. Secondly I receive real, tangible love from my husband, children, family (church family too) and a really small group of friends. Equally second, I feel good about myself by what I give out and achieve…For me this is loving my family, serving others, my work and academic achievements. These are all my quality sources.

I read a really helpful devotional today by Bob and Debbie Gass in The Word for Today. It reminded me of the scripture that says, “A man of too many friends comes to ruin” Proverbs 18:24. 

Friendships and interaction require a huge investment of our time and energy that can actually sap and drain us. Let me ask you, how are you sleeping at night? Are you limiting your online interaction?

Furthermore, we should be ‘picky’ about who we have as friends/acquaintances so that we are not led astray. We should have people on our lists who inspire and encourage us onto better living and greater loving. We should have people on our list who truly care, and are there for us in real life. We need true, godly people who build us up and give us good advice, for there are many wicked people who will try to pull us down and lead us astray. 

I have read many times that we become like the people we look up to and the ones we surround ourselves with. 

So, who do you want to be like?

You may say, “But I have no quality people in my life…” Well as Bob and Debbie wrote, George Washington said, “It’s better to be lonely than in bad company”.

Furthermore, each day is a new opportunity to change your reality…True, good quality relationships take the effort to change our habits and even the places we frequent, and they take time to grow. No one grows by being fixed to a screen…

So for those who unfriend me or treat me poorly, even though at times I would like to retaliate, I will choose to obey Jesus and pray for them. I will pray for those who mistreat me, persecute me, or scorn me…

I will still love and pray for others by keeping my eyes on Jesus and His love for me which is an overflowing fount for me to draw upon each and every day. Love overcomes everything in the end which is why we are to not judge and we are to pray for our enemies who often don’t know any better…it’s just how they are.

Let go and let God take it for you.

Melanie.